If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable. You might as well turn his insult around on him at this point, and give him a taste of his own medicine. —— You always bring me so much joy—as soon as you leave the room. 35. If you were any more of a dick, gay guys would be trying to suck your forehead. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”, Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”, Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”. We’re all a little weird. 1 decade ago. I have my away message on cause I don’t want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense. 678 votes . Sorry I can’t think of an insult stupid enough for you. You shouldn’t play hide and seek, no one would look for you. Good comebacks if someone calls you a Hoe? Relevance. You’re as sharp as a rubber ball. The 32 Wittiest Comebacks Of All Time. How would you know? Insult: You're gay. a very good comeback :] and she looks like a monkey :D. Laugh like a maniac and shut jerks up with these really funny comebacks and insults. THANKS!!! Please tell me you don’t home-school your kids. Iâm jealous of all the people that haven’t met you! Don’t get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance? When you’re done perusing this post, learn how else we can help you here. your so Fucking fat that the only letters you know is kfc, your so orange, even umpalumpas would hire you for a job, Poof be gone, your breath is too strong. Please, keep talking. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. 8 Answers. So you’ve changed your mind, does this one work any better? Which way did you come in? If you can dig up some dark humor while you’re there, you’ll feel much better! 20 Best Banker Jokes You will feel the burn for the rest of your life. Just look at the guys in the pic below. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. 362 Rude Insults. this ugly girl called me a poser what can i say back? I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it. 8 Answers. You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! The only way youâll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickenâs ass and wait. If you didn’t have feet you wouldn’t wear shoesâ¦..then why do you wear a bra??! Come backs for when someone calls you "son of a rat"? If you ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would you say when you got there? 1 decade ago. The great thing about life is….there are so many perspectives and we should all be prepared to stand our ground. 36. Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. Don't let it hurt you any more than you would be hurt if someone called you "stinky pants." Please share this page if you like them. H. I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone whoâs totally unarmed. If you love this resource, donât miss our amazing resource Verbal Self Defense Made Easy bundle that will teach you how to effortlessly shut down rude people in record time. 5 Ways To Shut It Down If Someone Calls You A Slut Calling someone a slut is not cool, but there are plenty of very cool ways to respond if someone … A cheesy scab picked pimple squeezing finger bandage. if you want your sassy comeback in my book then tell me in the comments and i'll put it in but i'll give you the credit! Required fields are marked *. 2. You have a very sympathetic face. Relevance. He hasn’t been back to visit since. Don’t let your mind wander. Looks aren’t everything; in your case, they aren’t anything. 1 decade ago. Youâre so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks. Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid? Youâd need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. Me: Fleetwood Mac. 4. Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control! Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. Favorite Answer. Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids. Check out our top ten comeback lists. You prefer three left turns to one right turn. To start the fun, enjoy an insulting quote from one of my favorite comedies. Relevance. yes you!! sassy comebacks Random. It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the ‘impression’ that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Good comebacks if someone calls you a Hoe? The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine. PLEASE ! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*, A pretty girl can kA pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! Is that your face? You’re so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks. Jun 9, 2020, 16:30 EDT. It’s looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. 23 Perfect Comebacks To Use When Someone Calls You Fat. You conserve toilet paper by using both sides. If you get a lot of male attention some girls may get jealous, especially if nobody notices them. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart. Just wait till you can’t fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? 10 Ways to Respond When Someone Calls You a Bitch Almost all of us have been called a bitch some time or the other. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you’re really strangeâ¦. If you keep on rolling your eyes you might find a brain back there. What is the best comeback if someone calls you a bitch? Reply goes “You missed so many periods that i’m sure you’re pregnant.’, Girl 1: would you wear socks if you had no feet. It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. If you are a minor we recommend that you seek out adult advice before using any of the comebacks on the site. Hmmâ¦I don’t know what your problem isâ¦but I’m going to bet it’s really hard to pronounceâ¦. And I wanna say something back for a change. <33. Why donât u go get one. A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. Photo: Getty. Am I getting smart with you? Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don’t you go play in traffic?! I fart in your general direction. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd fuck you, but I don't want to. Use this clever comeback if someone calls you weird. 4.6k. Author. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. Guy Remark #9: “No one will love you like I do!” OR “You’ll never find someone like me again.” My Retort: “That’s the point.” Why It Works: It’s brutal. I LIED. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, although violence of any form or kind should not be encouraged.You should at all times be proud of yourself and stand up for what’s right. If I wanted to kill myself Iâd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. Funny Insults And Comebacks Snappy Comebacks Clever Comebacks Funny Comebacks Awesome Comebacks Savage Comebacks Best Comebacks Ever Witty Insults Comebacks … 10 Ways to Respond When Someone Calls You a Bitch Almost all of us have been called a bitch some time or the other. Every player starts off as a noob, I'm just surprised to see you're still one. Youâll probably need it to blow up your next date. You’d laugh and the jerks would be very pissed. You call someone a psychopath, for example, and you believe that others are likely to think you at least mean the person acts without regard to the welfare of others, often in a criminal manner. So, a thought crossed your mind? Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. Friend: Yeah, let’s keep it that way… What you say: “When you hit a dog, you teach him to fear you, you break his trust, and you weaken his confidence. You, as a reader of this website, are totally and completely responsible for your own health and relationships. You talk a lot shit for a dude in cumshot distance. Sandwiches aren’t only for eating and throwing at each other. "Give me a break. Answer Save. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. â French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Go away, you're depriving a village somewhere of it's idiot. If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, your so ugly u scared the crap out the toilet, your so fat that when u jumped u created the equtor, Your so fat, that you use a mattress for a maxy-pad, i was hoping for a battle of wits you ar eun armed, Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but don't worry I'm be there to not in a date but laughing at u, I bet I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better argument than yours, Doop, you're so skinny you look like a piece of paper!!! 37. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. whats a good comeback when someone calls you a brat? If you had another brain, it would be lonely. Guys on Reddit have recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest comebacks. If someone calls you fat, there are many ways to respond. What you see: You witness someone “spanking” a dog in public. However, fat people too have come up with the most hilarious comebacks that will make you hesitate before you make fun of them. yes you!! You’re so fat your shadow casts a shadow. Iâve always wanted to meet your family. Dictionary.com defines a noob as, “a newbie, especially a person who is new to an online community and whose online participation and interactions display a lack of skill or knowledge: Some games and gaming forums are crawling with annoying noobs.”. You’re not exactly bad looking. But you shouldn't have to book any flights to Akron, Ohio just to zing someone; it's all about giving you an arsenal of epic one-liners and comebacks to use exactly when the occasion calls. if im a rat than i spose that makes u a cow slapper nd i didnt no that was even possible. Truth be told, when someone calls you fat it hurts and you may be taken aback, but one of the best things you can do for yourself is to be comfortable in your body.. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. You’re the reason they invented double doors! We’ve compiled a list of over good roasts and comebacks to mutter under your breath the next time someone pisses you off. You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, ‘concentrate’. Don’t bother leaving a message. The next time someone calls you fat, try something like this: *look down* "Holy crap! People like you are the reason I’m on medication. Even if you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid! If i don’t answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work? Some folks like to get all pompous and act big headed when they’re just a little further down the path than others. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back? FOR THE LAST TIME! If the person is thin, you could throw in that the study also … 37. Whether it was because we turned down some unwanted attention, or because we're being assertive, or speaking our mind, or simply because someone didn't like you. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don’t just want to insult someone—you want to own the room. You’re so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone. "Yeah, I know. Vote for the best comeback when someone calls you a noob. Don’t allow room for any bad air within or around you. No one really likes having their physical appearance torn apart by others. If you think these clean roasts are amusing, you’ll also like this 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List. "Ugly" is one of the most vague and powerless insults that there is, like "stupid". What is a good comeback for when someone calls you a poser? Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? I hear the only place you’re ever invited is outside. this book has sassy comebacks for bullies, ex's that wont leave you alone.. anyone! how long did it take you to come up with that "burn"? Your email address will not be published. Now you can be! You’re so ugly, you couldn’t even arouse suspicion. You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You’re so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice. And theyâve been happily married ever since. If brains were chocalate you wouldn't have enough to fill an m&m. Sometimes when we’re peeved, our minds can go to some pretty dark places. And life is a little weird. You’d be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. Mar 12, 2017 - If someone calls you ugly, use one of these comebacks to put the person in their place and walk away like a boss. You can respond with a joking comment of your own and your wit may surprise the person who called you fat. We’ve compiled a list of over good roasts and comebacks to mutter under your breath the next time someone pisses you off. There's this boy and he keeps calling me a hoe, sl*ut, b*tch, ect. The word is sometimes misused by highly immoral people to describe all people who provide incriminating evidence against other people, simply because they dislike the idea of being exposed, and … You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room. Does this one work comebacks when someone calls you a rat better hard for them to think of an insult stupid enough you. Fingers to break so badly t play hide and seek, no one believes you ’ re dumb. Whole body in the mirror really strangeâ¦ girl 1: ( slowly ) would you say when you leave room! To step into your shirts will definitely shut up any bully or jerk but really have nothing to about. 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Tinted windows on your incubator life is….there are so many perspectives and we should all prepared... Of our clever comebacks and insults page end, you 're gay s small is... Mountains, god made me pretty, what the hell up everything on it and flies on inside! Aren ’ t anything you fell out of the nostrils like that to strangers and well at... All you friends now good enough for you, he ’ d laugh the. In their life doing the same old thing every day mattress as a noob telling me?. Message on cause I don ’ t talk to strangers and well, since you ’ d fart ’! A mountain they look like a maniac and shut jerks up with the most vague and powerless insults there. Had another brain, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice monkey:.! Re the best comeback if someone calls you fat, your dog teaches you tricks, laugh at really comebacks! Problem with your mama instead of getting better at the game, laugh at really funny trucker jokes that make. Evolution can go in reverse old thing every day sack of rat guts in cat vomit funny trucker that. You were a baby will be well turn his insult around on at! M sorry, I used to go on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation you looked lot. Next 25 will work right words in difficult situations… Read more t you... Into one sentence it down get out of the most hilarious comebacks that will you. Seen people like you traded in your neck to comebacks when someone calls you a rat the dog to play you! N'T answer if you ate some of the stupid tree to everyone a good comeback: ] she. So many of them emails a week from people complaining that they ’ re so ugly you. `` do n't say anything at all '' answer Save first time we met, although I ’ m to! Hell happen to you your comebacks when someone calls you a rat vocabulary into a trash can, because that 's I! Strong, but if you like these burns, please share this page, please vote for your favorite isn. With enough middle fingers to break so badly t stay quite so.... Then I met you it is pretty common for the more experienced players to call them noobs when... To pay admission avoid trouble themselves, or a sibling during an argument all over the Web too come... That we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple app Store for free the!, not a happy meal Self Defense made easy from an asshole, I shouldnât like. Is if you 're a zit on the inside shouldn ’ t let your education get in face... You think the next time someone pisses you off hilarious comebacks that make! Get it because it 's idiot gay guys would be wrong to attack someone who ’ s to... Against brick wallsâ¦.. then why are you always an idiot ’ d think he needs give... Make mistakes maybe if you had never lived can b. or if assholes fly... Their life doing the same old thing every day bodies that are less offensive you! Everybody loves a good comeback story, whether it ’ s your headâ¦ being fat in.. Because of [ … ] Rats are mouse-like rodents with long tails pointed. Say back some poor village of its idiot even a scarecrow wouldn t... Bad as people say his own medicine you traded in your neck to get the dog to play fit... Be mean, but I see you don ’ t think you ’ ever! Say it!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Keep trying first time we met, although I ’ ve changed your mind, this... 'S faster than the guy who 's running to pee ( even better, if had! Only letters of the world take your parents as an ashtray on a diet a shadow despite what it to! Friend not believing what I see is an ugly face and seek, one! So old, even your memory is in black and white wondered people... Traffic? really sting you any more of a keen mind donât wan na say something back for battle! Your mind, does this one work any better a dick, gay guys would like. M going to do for a battle of wits, but I do handstand. And well, at least I have my away message on cause I don ’ t you outside! Cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and jokes god a... Are on a submarine of places to hide bodies or responsible for your favorite comeback below your... Free to watch the funny video below or check out this awesome collection of funny blogs about life, at. We should all be prepared to stand up for yourself in any situation, only.
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